What Happens When You Talk to a Pastor Online?

"The purpose in a man's heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out." (Proverbs 20:5, ESV)

The short answer: When you talk to a pastor online through Faithful Path, there are three parts. When you book, you answer a few questions in writing. Then we meet for sixty minutes on Zoom or Google Meet, by video or audio only if you prefer. Within twenty-four hours, I send you a written follow-up with what I heard, passages to sit with, and two or three next steps. The session costs US$60 and is open to anyone aged eighteen or over, anywhere in the world.

This is a scheduled conversation for pastoral care and spiritual guidance. If you need urgent help, see Finding Help Where You Live.

Many people have never spoken to a pastor one to one. Some have only seen pastors from a distance, at the front of a church. Others have been hurt by church leaders and are unsure whether to try again. And many simply wonder what an online conversation with a pastor would actually be like.

I have been a pastor for over twenty years, in different countries, and much of the work I value most has happened in conversations with one person or one couple. This article explains exactly what happens when you book a conversation with me, so you know what to expect before you decide.

Who Talks to a Pastor Online?

People come for many reasons. Some of the things I hear most often:

• An engaged couple who want to prepare well for marriage.
• Someone who has lost a loved one and is struggling to pray.
• A believer whose faith has gone quiet and who does not know why.
• A church leader who is carrying a lot and has no one to talk to.
• Someone facing a hard decision who wants to think it through in the light of Scripture.
• Someone who is not sure they believe any of it, but wants to talk honestly with someone who does.

You do not need to be a member of any church. You do not need to have your faith sorted out. You only need to be willing to talk honestly.

Before the Conversation: Booking and Your Written Intake

You book through the Talk to a Pastor page. The calendar shows times in your own time zone, and you pay US$60 when you book.

As you book, you answer two questions in writing: "What's going on? Tell me in your own words" and "What would you like to be different after we talk?" Take as long as you need. You can write a lot or a little, and even "I don't know" is a real answer. You also tick a box to confirm you understand this is pastoral guidance, not therapy or emergency care. I read what you write, and pray over it, before we meet.

You will also be asked whether you are happy for me to make a transcript of our conversation, so that I can write your follow-up accurately. You can say no, and it will not affect the session at all. Video is never recorded.

Your confirmation email includes the link for our call and a link to reschedule if you need to.

How to Prepare

You do not need to prepare a speech. But a few simple things can help:

• Find a private place. Choose somewhere you can speak freely without being overheard. Headphones help.
• Test your connection. Open the Zoom or Google Meet link a few minutes early.
• Prefer audio only? Say so in the written intake when you book, and it will be arranged.
• Jot down what matters most. If there are two or three things you most want to talk about, write them down so they do not get lost.
• Have a Bible nearby, if you have one. We may look at a passage together.
• Give yourself a little time afterwards. Some conversations bring up a lot. A short walk or quiet half hour afterwards can help.

If you are coming as a couple, sit together in the same place if you can, so you can both see and hear clearly.

During the Hour

Every conversation is different, but this is the usual shape.

We begin simply. I will greet you, check that you can hear me well, and, if you would like, open with a short prayer.

Mostly, I listen. James tells us to be "quick to hear, slow to speak" (James 1:19, ESV). I will have read your intake, so you do not have to start from the beginning. I will ask questions to help me understand, and I will try not to rush to answers.

Where Scripture speaks, I bring it. If a passage speaks to what you are facing, I will share it plainly, not as a lecture, and we may read it together.

Towards the end, we look forward. In the last part of the hour, we talk about what a responsible next step might be. It may be a conversation you need to have, a practice to begin, a decision to test, or help to seek elsewhere.

We close in prayer, if you would like to.

You are welcome to cry, to be angry, to say you are not sure what you believe, or to sit in silence for a moment. Paul writes, "Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ" (Galatians 6:2, ESV). That is what the hour is for.

After the Conversation: Your Written Follow-Up

Within twenty-four hours, I send you a written follow-up. It includes:

• What I heard you say, in a few short paragraphs.
• Passages of Scripture to sit with in the days ahead.
• Two or three concrete next steps.

The follow-up is yours to keep. Many people find it helpful to return to when the conversation has faded. Where one of my books or courses is directly relevant to what we discussed, I may include it with the follow-up as a gift. There is never a sales pitch in a session.

What Stays Private

I treat what you write and say as private. I do not pass it on to church leaders, family members or anyone who may have suggested you speak to me. Cal.com, the scheduling service, holds your booking details and written intake.

I may disclose information if I believe that you or someone else, especially a child or vulnerable adult, is at risk of serious harm, or if the law requires it. In either case I will tell you what I am doing and why, unless that would put someone at greater risk.

Your intake, my notes and any transcript are deleted twelve months after the session, and sooner if you ask. See the Pastoral Conversation Terms and Privacy Policy for the full details.

What a Pastoral Conversation Is, and Is Not

I am an ordained minister, not a licensed therapist, doctor or lawyer. A session is pastoral counselling and spiritual guidance. It is not psychotherapy, medical treatment, legal advice or an emergency service. Where professional help would serve you better, I will say so and help you think about how to find it. Many people talk with a pastor alongside other care.

The Talk to a Pastor page has a short section, "Is a pastor the right person for this?", to help you decide.

Practical Details

• Price: US$60, paid when you book.
• Length: sixty minutes.
• Where: online, on Zoom or Google Meet, by video or audio only.
• Language: English.
• Who can book: anyone aged eighteen or over, anywhere in the world. One person, or a couple together.
• Changes: reschedule or cancel free up to twenty-four hours before. Cancellations inside twenty-four hours and missed sessions are not refunded, because that hour has been kept for you.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is talking to a pastor online as helpful as meeting in person?

For many people, yes. Being in your own home can make it easier to speak honestly, and online sessions mean you can talk with a pastor wherever you live. What matters most is honest conversation and prayer, and both are possible online.

Do I need to be a Christian to talk to a pastor?

No. Sessions are open to anyone, with or without church membership. You do not need to arrive with your faith intact. You only need to be willing to talk honestly.

Can my spouse or fiancé(e) join the conversation?

Yes. Couples can book a session together. When a couple attends, I treat you as two people in one conversation, and I do not hold secrets for one partner from the other. If either of you wants to speak privately, book a separate session.

What if I don't know what to say?

That is very common. Your written intake gives us a starting point, and I will ask questions to help. You do not have to have the right words.

Will you tell me what to do?

I will not make your decisions for you. I will listen, ask questions, bring Scripture where it speaks, and help you see what a responsible next step might be. The decision stays yours.

Ready to Talk?

If something is weighing on you, you do not have to carry it alone. Book a conversation through Talk to a Pastor, answer a few questions, and we will talk.