How to Mentor a New Church Leader in Their First 90 Days

"You then, my child, be strengthened by the grace that is in Christ Jesus, and what you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses entrust to faithful men, who will be able to teach others also." (2 Timothy 2:1–2, ESV)

The short answer: To mentor a new church leader in their first 90 days, plan three longer meetings: one at the start to set expectations, one around day 45 to review how it is going, and one at day 90 to look back and plan ahead. In between, keep short, regular check-ins. Focus each conversation on four things: their walk with God, their role, the people they lead, and how they are coping. Your aim is not to control their ministry, but to walk beside them while they learn it.

The first three months in a new ministry role are when most leaders either settle well or quietly struggle alone. They are learning the role, meeting people, making mistakes and wondering whether they are good enough. A mentor who walks beside them in those months can make all the difference.

I have mentored new leaders in churches in several countries, and I have seen how much a few well-timed conversations can help. This guide gives you a simple outline for three meetings, the questions to ask, and what to do between them.

If you are training a group of new leaders before they begin, start with my six-week church leadership training plan. This guide picks up where that plan ends: the first ninety days of actually leading.

Why the First 90 Days Matter

Jesus "appointed twelve ... so that they might be with him and he might send them out to preach" (Mark 3:14, ESV). Being with Him came first. Leaders are formed in relationship, not only in training sessions.

Paul's ministry was full of the same pattern. Barnabas stood beside the new convert Saul when others were afraid of him (Acts 9:27). Later, Barnabas gave John Mark a second chance after he had left the mission early (Acts 15:37–39), and years afterwards Paul wrote, "Get Mark and bring him with you, for he is very useful to me for ministry" (2 Timothy 4:11, ESV). A mentor who believes in a new leader, and stays with them through early failures, can shape a lifetime of ministry.

What a Mentor Does, and Does Not Do

A mentor:

• Listens more than they speak.
• Asks good questions that help the new leader think.
• Shares experience honestly, including their own mistakes.
• Prays for and with the new leader.
• Encourages and gives honest feedback.

A mentor does not:

• Take over the new leader's ministry.
• Make their decisions for them.
• Replace their supervisor or the church's leadership structures.

Paul described his ministry this way: "we were ready to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our own selves, because you had become very dear to us" (1 Thessalonians 2:8, ESV). Good mentoring is personal.

Before You Begin

• Agree on the basics. How often will you meet? Where? For how long?
• Know the role. Ask the leader's supervisor what the role involves and what decisions the new leader can make.
• Follow your church's guidelines for one-to-one meetings, and make sure the new leader knows the church's safeguarding procedure from the start.
• Agree on privacy. Agree what will stay private, what routine updates may go to the supervisor, and how safeguarding concerns will be raised. If a concern involves the supervisor or pastor, use the church's designated safeguarding route.
• Start praying for them by name.

Meeting 1: Week 1 — Setting Out Together

Purpose: Build trust, clarify expectations, and agree how you will work together.

Length: About 60–90 minutes.

Questions to ask:

• How did you come to take on this role? How do you feel about it?
• What are you most looking forward to? What worries you?
• What do you understand your role to be? What decisions are yours to make?
• Who will you be working with most closely?
• How is your own walk with God at the moment?
• What would make our time together most helpful to you?

Agree together:

• When you will meet next, and how you will stay in touch between meetings.
• One or two things the new leader will focus on in the first month.
• One ordinary ministry task you can observe before Day 45, where appropriate, such as leading a team briefing or a small group session.
• How you will pray for them.

End by praying together.

Between Meetings: Short Check-Ins

Every week or two, check in for ten to twenty minutes, in person, by phone or by message. Keep it simple:

• How did this week go?
• What went well? What was hard?
• Is there anything you need help with?
• How can I pray for you?

Short check-ins catch small problems before they become big ones. They also tell the new leader that you have not forgotten them.

Meeting 2: Around Day 45 — How Is It Really Going?

Purpose: Review the first six weeks honestly, celebrate growth, and address problems early.

Length: About 60–90 minutes.

Questions to ask:

• What has surprised you most about this role?
• Where have you seen God at work?
• What has been harder than you expected?
• How are your relationships with the people you lead? With other leaders?
• Is there a conflict or difficult situation you are unsure how to handle?
• How are you looking after your own soul: prayer, Scripture, rest?
• On a scale of one to ten, how are you coping? What would move it one step higher?

Talk about the task you observed. Name one thing that helped the team or group, and agree on one change to try next time.

Give honest feedback. Name something specific they have done well. If there is an area they need to grow in, raise it kindly and clearly. Paul describes believers "speaking the truth in love" as they grow up into Christ (Ephesians 4:15, ESV).

Agree together: One area to grow in during the next six weeks, and one practical step.

End by praying together.

Meeting 3: Day 90 — Looking Back, Looking Ahead

Purpose: Reflect on the first three months, recognise growth, and plan for what comes next.

Length: About 60–90 minutes.

Questions to ask:

• Looking back over ninety days, what are you most thankful for?
• What have you learned about leading? About yourself? About God?
• What would you do differently if you started again?
• What do the people you lead need from you in the next three months?
• Is this role a good fit for you? Is there anything you would like to change?
• Who are you beginning to encourage or train? (2 Timothy 2:2)

Plan together:

• What your mentoring relationship will look like from now on: monthly meetings, quarterly reviews, or a natural ending.
• Any training or support the new leader needs.

End by thanking God for them, and pray a blessing over their ministry.

Signs a New Leader Needs More Support

Watch for these, and talk with them sooner rather than later:

• They seem exhausted. Ask, "How are prayer, Scripture and rest fitting into your week?"
• They avoid conversations about difficulties.
• Conflict with others keeps returning.
• They are doing everything themselves and not involving others.
• They talk about quitting.

Most of these can be helped with honest conversation and practical support. If something is beyond what you can help with, involve the leader's supervisor or pastor.

Frequently Asked Questions

How often should I meet with a new church leader?

Three longer meetings in the first ninety days, at the start, around day 45 and at day 90, with short check-ins every week or two in between, works well for most roles.

What is the difference between training and mentoring?

Training teaches the knowledge and skills a role needs, often in a group. Mentoring is personal: walking alongside one leader as they put that training into practice. For the longer process, see the one-year mentoring plan in my article on Christian leadership development.

Who should mentor a new leader?

Ideally, someone more experienced in ministry, spiritually mature, a good listener, and not the new leader's direct supervisor, so that they can speak freely. Follow your church's guidelines about who mentors whom.

What if the new leader is struggling badly?

Do not wait for the next scheduled meeting. Talk to them, listen carefully, and involve their supervisor or pastor. Sometimes a new leader needs more support, a lighter load, or time to rest. Sometimes a different role is a better fit.

Going Deeper

• My book Lead Before You're Ready is written for new and first-time ministry leaders. It would make a good book to read together during the first ninety days.
• If the new leader leads a small group, share how to lead your first small group Bible study with them.

A Prayer for Mentors

Lord Jesus, You walked with Your disciples before You sent them out. Help me walk faithfully with this new leader. Give me patience to listen, wisdom to ask good questions, and courage to speak honestly in love. Strengthen them for the work You have given them, protect them from discouragement, and let them in turn entrust what they learn to others. Amen.