Christian Couples Retreat: Themes, Activities and a Weekend Schedule

A Christian couples retreat is not simply a romantic getaway or a weekend of relationship discussions. It is an intentional opportunity for a husband and wife to draw near to God individually, reconnect spiritually and return to everyday life with a renewed commitment to walk with Christ together.

What is a Christian couples retreat? A Christian couples retreat is an intentional time set aside by a married couple to rest, pray, study Scripture and strengthen their shared walk with God. It may take place at home, during a private getaway or as part of a church-organised retreat. Engaged couples can also adapt many of the activities as they prepare for marriage.

In more than twenty years as a pastor, I have seen how much good a short, unhurried pause can do for a marriage. This article gives you eight Bible-based themes, ten practical activities and a simple weekend schedule you can use as a couple or adapt for your church.

At a glance

Three kinds of Christian couples retreat

1. A church or ministry couples retreat. Several couples gather, usually for a weekend, with teaching sessions, worship, shared meals and free time. The benefit is encouragement from other couples and good Bible teaching; the challenge is protecting enough time for each couple to be alone.

2. A getaway for two. You plan your own weekend, at a guesthouse, a quiet retreat centre or even at home with the diary cleared. You choose the theme, the pace and the activities. This article is written mainly with this kind of retreat in mind.

3. A spiritual reset retreat. This is my favourite approach. You go away together, but each of you spends substantial time alone with God, and then you come back together for short, kind conversations about what you noticed.

Why time apart? When a couple does everything side by side, each person can become aware of an audience: the person they most want to please or reassure. Jesus invited His disciples to withdraw together, "Come away by yourselves to a desolate place and rest a while" (Mark 6:31, ESV), and the Gospels also show Him going further into solitude with the Father. Community and solitude both had a place. A couples retreat can follow the same rhythm: go away together, spend time alone with God, and return to one another.

Eight Christian couples retreat themes

Choose one theme for the whole weekend. Read the passage together, then each spend time with it alone before discussing the questions.

1. A Threefold Cord

Read: Ecclesiastes 4:9–12

"Two are better than one… For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow" (Ecclesiastes 4:9–10, ESV). In its original setting, this passage is about the value of companionship in general: the Teacher has just described a lonely man who works endlessly with no one to share his life. It is not written specifically about marriage, and it does not say who the "third strand" is. But its wisdom applies beautifully to marriage: two people who help, warm and protect one another are stronger together. Christian couples may also use this image to reflect on the importance of keeping God at the centre of their marriage. This is a meaningful application of the passage's wisdom about companionship, rather than an explanation of the identity of the third strand.

Discuss:

• When has your spouse "lifted you up" when you fell?
• How could you support one another better in this season?

2. Love That Lasts

Read: 1 Corinthians 13:4–7

"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude" (1 Corinthians 13:4–5, ESV). Paul wrote these words to a divided church that prized impressive spiritual gifts over love. They are not first a wedding reading but a description of how believers should treat one another, and that makes them all the more searching for a marriage, where we live closest to one another.

Discuss:

• Which quality of love in these verses comes most naturally to you, and which least?
• What would patience or kindness look like in your home this week?

3. As Christ Loved the Church

Read: Ephesians 5:18–33

Paul's teaching on marriage begins with being "filled with the Spirit" (verse 18) and "submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ" (verse 21, ESV). He then addresses wives and husbands, calling husbands to love their wives "as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" (verse 25). Paul says the deepest subject is Christ Himself: "This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church" (verse 32).

Christians hold differing views on some aspects of roles in marriage. But all agree that this passage calls husbands and wives to Christlike, self-giving love, holiness and faithful commitment, with Christ's love for His Church as the pattern.

Discuss:

• What does Christ's love for the Church show you about love in marriage?
• How can you each serve the other in a Christlike way this week?

4. Come Away and Rest

Read: Mark 6:30–32

The apostles returned from their mission busy and tired; so many people were coming and going that "they had no leisure even to eat" (Mark 6:31, ESV). Jesus recognised their need for rest and invited them to withdraw with Him. Although the needs of the crowd soon interrupted their plans (Mark 6:33–44), His invitation shows that rest has a legitimate place in a life of faithful service.

Discuss:

• What has made life feel crowded for you recently?
• What would it look like to rest together regularly, not just this weekend?

5. Building on the Rock

Read: Matthew 7:24–27

At the end of the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus says the wise builder is the one who hears His words "and does them" (Matthew 7:24, ESV). The rock is not a good marriage or good communication; it is obedience to Christ. A marriage is strengthened when both husband and wife build their lives on doing what Jesus says.

Discuss:

• Which of Jesus' teachings do you most need to put into practice together?
• What "storms" have tested your home, and what held you steady?

6. Clothed with Grace and Forgiveness

Read: Colossians 3:12–17

Paul tells God's people to put on "compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience," forgiving one another "as the Lord has forgiven you," and above all to put on love, "which binds everything together in perfect harmony" (Colossians 3:12–14, ESV). These words were written to a whole church, but they shape a Christian home too.

Discuss:

• Which of these "garments" do you most need to put on in your marriage?
• Is there anything small you need to forgive, or ask forgiveness for?

7. A Season for Everything

Read: Ecclesiastes 3:1–8

"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven" (Ecclesiastes 3:1, ESV). Life moves through seasons: building and waiting, joy and grief, busyness and quiet. A marriage does too. Naming your season helps you give each other grace.

Discuss:

• What season would you say your marriage is in right now?
• What does each of you need from the other in this season?

8. Serving Together

Read: Acts 18:1–4, 18–26; Romans 16:3–5

Priscilla and Aquila were a married couple who shared Paul's trade as tentmakers (Acts 18:2–3), helped Apollos understand "the way of God more accurately" (Acts 18:24–26, ESV), and welcomed a church into their home (Romans 16:3–5). Paul calls them "my fellow workers in Christ Jesus" (Romans 16:3, ESV). Their example shows how a married couple can use their home, work and gifts in service to the Lord.

Discuss:

• What gifts and opportunities has God given you as a couple?
• How might you serve someone together in the coming months?

Ten couples retreat activities

Each activity includes how to do it, an approximate time and a prompt. You don't need to do all ten; choose four or five.

Connecting with God

1. Praying together (10–15 minutes). If praying aloud together feels awkward, start simply: each pray one or two sentences, for God's help and for each other. Prompt: "Lord, thank You for… Please help us with…"

2. Reading Scripture together (20 minutes). Read your theme passage aloud, slowly, twice. Then each say one phrase that stood out. Prompt: What does this passage show us about God?

3. Time alone with God (45–90 minutes). Each take the same passage to a different room or a quiet spot outside. Read, pray, journal and rest. What you write remains private unless you choose to share it. Prompt: "Lord, help me understand what this passage teaches about You, and show me how to respond faithfully."

4. A prayer walk (30–45 minutes). Walk together, partly in silence. Thank God for what you see, and pray for whatever comes to mind: family, church, your neighbourhood. Prompt: Psalm 104 is a good psalm to read before you set out.

Connecting with each other

5. Remembering God's faithfulness (30–45 minutes). Draw a simple timeline of your marriage. Mark the high points, hard seasons and moments when God helped you. Prompt: Where did we see God's faithfulness that we didn't notice at the time?

6. Gratitude letters (20–30 minutes). Each write a short letter thanking your spouse for specific things. Exchange and read them quietly. Prompt: "One thing I have seen God do in you is…"

7. A meal with good questions (1–2 hours). Share an unhurried meal and choose two or three questions. Prompts: What has been life-giving for you this year? What are you looking forward to? How can I pray for you?

8. Speaking a blessing (5 minutes). Take turns reading the priestly blessing over each other: "The LORD bless you and keep you; the LORD make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; the LORD lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace" (Numbers 6:24–26, ESV).

Looking ahead together

9. Serving someone together (30–60 minutes). Plan or do one small act of service: a meal for a neighbour, a card for a struggling friend, a gift for a church family in need. Prompt: Who could we bless together this month?

10. A simple plan for the year ahead (30–45 minutes). Agree on one spiritual rhythm to practise together (for example, praying together twice a week), one thing to protect (such as a weekly evening together) and one way to serve. Keep it short and realistic. Prompt: What is one small step we can actually keep?

A sample weekend schedule

This timetable is for a Friday evening to Sunday midday retreat. Keep plenty of unscheduled time; a retreat should not become a conference programme for two people.

If you have three days, you can follow my three-day Christian retreat schedule, with each of you doing the sessions separately and meeting for short shared moments at the end of each day. If you only have one day, use Saturday's timetable.

Planning a church couples retreat

If you are a pastor or ministry leader, here are some practical principles.

• Keep it manageable. Eight to twenty couples is a good size for a first retreat; it is large enough for fellowship and small enough for people to know one another.
• Choose one theme. One of the eight themes above can shape the whole weekend.
• Limit the sessions. Two or three teaching sessions are usually enough for a weekend. More becomes tiring.
• Give couples time alone. After each session, give couples 30–45 minutes on their own with two or three questions.
• Protect rest. Build in free afternoons, unhurried meals and time for sleep. Many couples arrive exhausted.
• End with worship and commitment. Close with a Sunday service, communion if appropriate in your church, and an invitation for each couple to choose one ongoing practice.

A simple session pattern: worship (15 minutes), teaching from the passage (30 minutes), couple time with questions (30–45 minutes), closing prayer (10 minutes).

Keeping the retreat restful

A few simple agreements, made before you go, help to keep the weekend restful:

• Private time stays private. Neither person needs to read the other's journal or report everything from their time with God. You share what you want to share.
• Either of you can ask for quiet. Agree on a simple phrase such as "I need some quiet now," and respect it.
• Keep shared conversations short and kind. Share one thing you noticed. Listen without analysing or advising. "Thank you for telling me" is enough.
• Don't save hard conversations for the retreat. The weekend is not the place to spring a difficult subject on your spouse.

A retreat can provide space for prayer, rest and renewed connection, but it is not designed to resolve every difficult issue in a marriage. If there are serious or longstanding problems, seek appropriate pastoral guidance or Christian marriage counselling separately. During the retreat, focus on listening to God, showing kindness and taking small, faithful steps together.

For engaged couples

Engaged couples can use the same themes and activities, with sleeping arrangements consistent with your convictions. A retreat can show you how each of you rests, prays and responds to quiet.

But premarital preparation is separate work. Money, family, children, conflict, faith and expectations need their own conversations. My workbook Talk Before You Marry is designed to help couples discuss those subjects together.

After the retreat

Expect the return home to feel different for each of you. One may feel refreshed, the other simply tired. Neither is a verdict on the weekend.

• Keep one small rhythm. The plan you made on Sunday matters more than how the weekend felt.
• Don't make big decisions on the strength of one weekend. Write down what you sensed, and test it over time through Scripture, prayer and wise counsel.
• Book the next pause. It doesn't have to be another weekend away. Once a quarter, take a three-hour reset at home: phones away, time alone with God in separate rooms, then twenty minutes together at the end.

A modest practice you can repeat is more valuable than an ambitious plan that never happens.

Frequently Asked Questions

What do you do at a Christian couples retreat?

You rest, pray, read Scripture and spend time together without the usual distractions. A good retreat combines time alone with God, a few shared activities such as praying together, a prayer walk or gratitude letters, and plenty of unhurried time. See the ten couples retreat activities.

What are good themes for a Christian couples retreat?

Good themes are anchored in a Bible passage, such as companionship (Ecclesiastes 4:9–12), love (1 Corinthians 13:4–7), Christ's love for the Church (Ephesians 5:18–33), rest (Mark 6:30–32) or serving together (Acts 18). See the eight themes.

How long should a couples retreat be?

A weekend, from Friday evening to Sunday midday, works well for most couples. If that isn't possible, a single day or even a three-hour reset at home can be very worthwhile.

Can we have a Christian couples retreat at home?

Yes. Clear the diary, put phones away, arrange for any children to be cared for, and use separate rooms for your time alone with God. The sample weekend schedule works at home too.

Is a couples retreat only for struggling marriages?

No. A retreat is for any couple who wants to rest and grow together in Christ. In fact, it is best taken before life becomes overwhelming. If your marriage is facing serious difficulties, seek pastoral help or counselling as well.

Resources for Your Retreat

• A complete guided retreat: The Christian Spiritual Reset includes Scripture-based retreat sessions and a couples' format you can use together.
• Preparing at home: how to take a personal prayer retreat at home.
• A longer retreat: a three-day Christian retreat schedule.
• Preparing for marriage: Talk Before You Marry.
• Pastoral support: if you would like to talk about your marriage, you can book a conversation with me through Talk to a Pastor.

A Prayer for Married Couples

Engaged couples can adapt this prayer as they prepare for marriage.

Lord, thank You for the gift of our marriage. As we step away from our busy lives, draw each of us near to You. Quiet our hearts, open our eyes to Your Word, and help us to listen to You and to one another. Renew our love, forgive our failures, and teach us to walk with Christ together. Send us home refreshed, to love and serve You side by side. In Jesus' name, Amen.