My Suicide Survival Testimony: How Scripture Helped Me Choose Life

This suicide survival testimony is my honest story of how God used Scripture to move me from wanting to die to choosing life. I share it as a fellow believer who has stared at the darkness and found that God’s Word, Christian community, and patient counseling held me when nothing else did. If you are alive and reading this, there is hope.

In the pages that follow, I’ll walk through how specific Bible verses, prayer, and wise Christian support helped me face suicidal thoughts, shame, and deep sorrow without giving up. This is not a quick fix or a neat success story, but a real journey with tears, questions, and a faithful Savior who did not let go. For more biblical clarity on this topic, you can also explore What the Bible Says About Suicide and Salvation.

As you read, my prayer is that you see both the weight of your pain and the greater weight of God’s grace. If you’re in immediate danger or planning to harm yourself, please contact local emergency services and reach out to a trusted person right away. For Christian counseling support, you can contact Pastor Richmond Kobe at info@faithfulpathcommunity.com.

When I Wanted to Give Up: The Dark Valley of Suicidal Thoughts

This part of my suicide survival testimony is the raw middle, not the cleaned-up ending. It is the place where I honestly believed everyone, including God, would be better off if I disappeared. If you are in that dark valley right now, I want you to know you are not strange, weak, or faithless for feeling this way. You are a person in deep pain, and God sees every tear.

In that season, my mind felt like a courtroom with a ruthless prosecutor. The accusations were constant, loud, and convincing. They sounded like truth, but they were lies that fed my despair and pushed me toward death.

Lies I Believed About My Worth and Why I Thought the World Was Better Without Me

When I look back, I can see that my suicidal thoughts grew in the soil of shame, exhaustion, and emotional pain. At the time, those thoughts felt like clear, logical conclusions. Now I can see they were lies. Here are some of the loudest ones.

“I am a burden.”
I replayed every mistake, every need, every time I had to ask for help. I told myself my family was tired of carrying me, my friends were only being polite, and my church would be relieved if I stopped needing support.
The lie: My worth depended on how “low maintenance” I could be.
The truth: Love in God’s design is not a burden. Scripture calls believers to “carry each other’s burdens” as a normal part of life in Christ. My needs did not cancel my value. Your needs do not cancel yours.

“God is disappointed in me.”
As a Christian, this one cut the deepest. I thought, “I know the Bible, I know I should have joy, so why am I still like this?” I imagined God with crossed arms, shaking His head, tired of my prayers and my lack of progress.
The lie: God only delights in strong, stable, productive Christians.
The truth: The Bible shows God close to the brokenhearted and saving “those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18). He is not shocked by depression. He is not put off by your weakness. In my lowest moments, He was not walking away. He was sitting beside me, even when I could not feel Him.

If your pain is tied to church hurt or spiritual confusion, resources like Healing from Religious Trauma: Reclaim Your Faith on Faithful Path Community can also help you sort out toxic messages from the true heart of God: Healing from Religious Trauma: Reclaim Your Faith.

“Nothing will ever change.”
Depression can freeze time. I felt like my current pain was a preview of the rest of my life. I could not imagine feeling different, so suicide started to look like the only exit.
The lie: My current emotions were a perfect map of my future.
The truth: Feelings are real, but they are not perfect prophets. At my worst point, I had not yet met the counselor God would use to help me, I had not yet discovered certain Scriptures that anchored me, I had not yet tasted the peace I now know. Change was already on the way, even when I saw no sign of it.

“People would be happier if I was gone.”
This thought presented itself as “unselfish.” I told myself that my death would free others from my drama, my struggles, my “issues.” I pictured people crying at first, then quietly relieved.
The lie: My absence would be an act of mercy toward others.
The truth: Suicide does not remove pain, it transfers it. It hands your unspoken agony to the people who love you and leaves scars on their hearts that can last a lifetime. Your life is a gift to them, even if you cannot see it right now.

When I share this suicide survival testimony, I want you to hear this clearly: these thoughts felt very real to me, but they were not true. They came from deep emotional pain, trauma, and exhaustion, not from spiritual weakness and not from a lack of faith.

You can love Jesus and still struggle with suicidal thoughts. That tension does not disqualify you as a Christian. It reveals how heavy your load has been and how much care you need.

If you need more Scripture support, collections like these Bible verses about suicide and hope can give you passages to pray through when your own words run out.

The Hidden Spiritual Battle Behind My Suicidal Thoughts

Over time, I began to see that my struggle was not only emotional or mental. There was a spiritual battle happening in the background. My mind was not just a place of random thoughts. It was territory that the enemy wanted to occupy with lies.

The Bible describes Satan as “the father of lies” who speaks against God’s character and against God’s people. When I look back, I can see how those dark thoughts lined up with his agenda.

• God says: “You are fearfully and wonderfully made.”
  The enemy whispers: “You are a burden and a mistake.”

• God says: “Nothing can separate you from My love.”
  The enemy whispers: “God is tired of you and your failures.”

• God says: “I have plans for good and a future.”
  The enemy whispers: “Nothing will ever change. There is no hope.”

Jesus described this contrast in John 10:10. He said that the thief comes only to steal, kill, and destroy, but He came so that we may have life, and have it abundantly. When I wanted to die, I was listening to the thief, not the Shepherd.

At the same time, I do not want to blame everything on Satan and ignore mental health. Depression and anxiety affect how the brain works, how we think, and how we see ourselves. Chemical imbalances, trauma, sleep loss, and ongoing stress can twist our thoughts and make despair feel logical.

Both things were true in my story:

1. I was facing real mental and emotional pain.
   I needed counseling, support, honest conversations, and sometimes medical help. God used wise Christian voices to help me challenge distorted thinking and build new patterns.

2. I was also in a spiritual fight.
   I needed Scripture, prayer, worship, and the prayers of others to confront lies with truth and to remember that I belonged to Jesus, not to despair.

One article that helped me think about this in a balanced, Christ-centered way is this gentle letter-style piece, A Note to the Suicidal Christian. It speaks both to the heart and to the mind, and it lines up with what I experienced in my own journey.

In all of this, one thing became clear: God did not cause my desire to die. He was not the voice telling me to give up. Scripture shows Him as the One who rescues, heals, and restores. His heart is to save, not to destroy.

If the thought to end your life is shouting at you, that voice does not come from your Savior.

In my suicide survival testimony, the turning point did not come when my feelings suddenly changed. It came when I began to doubt the lies. I started to say, “These thoughts feel true, but what if they are not? What if God’s Word is a better guide than my pain?”

That small shift opened the door for help, Scripture, and community to reach me. If you are in that dark valley now, you do not have to fight alone. Reach out to a trusted friend, a pastor, or a counselor. For Christian counseling support, you can contact Pastor Richmond Kobe at info@faithfulpathcommunity.com. Your story is not over, and in Christ, choosing life is still an option today.

How God Met Me in Scripture: The Bible Verses That Pulled Me Back From the Edge

When my thoughts were darkest and death felt like mercy, Scripture became more than a book to me. It became oxygen. In this part of my suicide survival testimony, these are the verses that held me when I could not hold myself.

They did not erase my pain overnight. But they changed the story I was telling myself about my pain, my identity, and my future. If you are hanging on by a thread, I pray these same words become a lifeline for you too. If you want more focused help using Psalms when emotions feel heavy, you may also find comfort in this guide to Psalms study for anxiety and emotional healing.

Psalm 34:17-18: God Is Close to the Brokenhearted, Even When You Feel Abandoned

“The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them;
he delivers them from all their troubles.
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:17–18)

When I first read this in my darkest season, I did not feel “righteous.” I felt like a failure. But the words “brokenhearted” and “crushed in spirit” described me exactly. I was not just sad. I felt crushed, emptied out, and abandoned.

At that time, I used my pain as proof that God had walked away. In my mind, if He really loved me, I would not feel this low. This verse gently confronted that belief. It did not say, “God is close to the cheerful and strong.” It said He is close to the brokenhearted.

That changed the way I viewed my suffering:

• My pain was not proof of God’s absence. It was a place where He promised to come near.

• My tears were not ignored. “The Lord hears” meant that every whispered “help me” mattered to Him.

• My crushed spirit was not the end of the story. It was the very condition He said He “saves.”

I began to picture something different. Instead of imagining God standing at a distance with folded arms, I started to imagine Him sitting beside me on the floor. Not interrupting. Not lecturing. Just present, steady, and kind.

If you are reading this with tears in your eyes, take a moment and picture that: God sitting next to you on your bed, or at your kitchen table, or in your car. Not rushing you. Not shaming you. Just close.

In my suicide survival testimony, this was the first shift. I was not alone in the dark. The God of Psalm 34 was in the dark with me.

Psalm 139:13-14: Remembering I Was Fearfully and Wonderfully Made When I Hated Myself

“For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” (Psalm 139:13–14)

By the time I reached this psalm, self-hatred was my normal. My inner labels were harsh and constant:

• “Worthless.”

• “Broken beyond repair.”

• “A mistake God regrets.”

Then I read, “You knit me together.” That word “knit” felt so personal. It made me think of careful, patient hands, working on every detail. It did not sound like an accident or an afterthought.

The contrast between how I saw myself and how God spoke about me was sharp:

• I called myself a burden. God called me His workmanship.

• I felt disposable. God said I was fearfully and wonderfully made.

• I saw only flaws. God saw intentional design.

To be honest, at first I did not believe it. Saying “I am fearfully and wonderfully made” felt fake, almost offensive, compared to how I viewed myself. But I kept repeating it, not because I felt it was true, but because I decided God was more reliable than my self-hatred.

I started using this passage in a simple way:

• I wrote it on a sticky note and put it on my mirror.

• I whispered it when suicidal thoughts told me I did not matter.

• I prayed it back to God: “You say I am wonderfully made. I do not see it, but help me trust You more than my feelings.”

Over time, those words began to soften the hard edges of my thoughts. The same mind that once rehearsed self-hate on repeat started to hold small pockets of truth. If you want to build more of that kind of Christ-centered thinking into your day, resources on how to build a positive mindset through Scripture can also support you.

Were my suicidal thoughts gone? No. But the foundation under them was shifting. Instead of “I should die because I am a mistake,” I began to hear another voice saying, “You are not a mistake. You are Mine.”

Isaiah 41:10 and 1 Peter 5:7: God Holds Me and Invites Me to Cast My Anxiety on Him

“So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10)

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7)

Suicidal thoughts made me feel like I was slipping off a cliff inside my own mind. Isaiah 41:10 spoke to that image. God said, “I will uphold you.” That meant I was not hanging on to Him by my weak grip. He was holding me with His strong hand.

The words that stood out to me were:

• “I am with you.”

• “I will strengthen you.”

• “I will help you.”

These were not demands. They were promises.

Then I paired that with 1 Peter 5:7. I had heard it before, but always in a shallow way, like a slogan. In this season, it became deeply practical. “Cast all your anxiety on him” meant I could throw, not politely place, my fears and even my desire to die at His feet.

So I started to pray differently. Instead of hiding my darkest thoughts from God, I began to say:

• “God, I want to die.”

• “I am tired of living like this.”

• “I do not see a future, and that scares me.”

I expected judgment. What I sensed, again and again, was care. These verses let me see God not as a distant judge, but as a Father who says, “Give it to Me. All of it. I care.”

That shift also made it easier to share with people. If God was not shocked by my honesty, maybe others would not be either. Over time, that helped me open up to counselors and trusted believers. If you are wrestling with anxiety wrapped around your suicidal thoughts, you might appreciate this balanced article on Is anxiety a spiritual failure or mental health issue?.

Isaiah 41:10 told me I was held.
1 Peter 5:7 told me I was heard.
Together, they made it possible for me to stay, even when I most wanted to leave.

2 Corinthians 12:9 and Philippians 4:13: Finding Strength in Christ When I Felt Too Weak to Go On

“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’” (2 Corinthians 12:9)

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13)

In church, I often heard Philippians 4:13 used for big dreams and big goals. Win the game. Get the promotion. Achieve the dream. In my situation, “all things” looked very different.

For me, “all things” meant:

• Getting out of bed when I wanted to stay under the covers forever.

• Answering a text instead of disappearing.

• Sitting in a counselor’s office and telling the truth.

• Choosing not to act on suicidal thoughts for one more day.

There were days when even “one more day” felt too big. That is where 2 Corinthians 12:9 met me. God’s power is made perfect in weakness, not in spiritual performance. That meant my weakness was not a disqualification. It was the starting point where His strength could show up.

My prayers became very small and very honest:

• “Jesus, give me grace for the next hour.”

• “Help me get through this night.”

• “Strength for this one conversation, please.”

I stopped trying to fix my whole life in one thought. Instead, I asked God for enough grace for the next step. Sometimes that was a phone call. Sometimes it was drinking water and taking my medication. Sometimes it was simply choosing to sleep instead of spiraling.

If you are here, too tired to plan a future, it is okay to pray small. “I can do all things through Christ” can mean “I can stay alive for the next 10 minutes with Your help.”

These verses told me three key truths:

• Weakness is not a shameful place. It is a place where Christ’s power rests.

• Survival counts as “doing all things.” Staying is real obedience when leaving feels easier.

• God’s grace is sized for the moment. You do not need grace for the next 10 years, only for today.

If you need more Scripture to hold on to when suicidal thoughts rise, collections like these Bible verses for suicidal thoughts to give you hope can give you more passages to pray through.

In my suicide survival testimony, the miracle was not that I became super strong. The miracle was that Jesus met me in my real weakness, through real words on real pages, and gave me enough strength to choose life, one small step at a time.

If you feel yourself slipping today, reach out to someone, and if you need Christian counseling support, you can contact Pastor Richmond Kobe at info@faithfulpathcommunity.com. You are not beyond God’s reach, and in Christ, choosing life is still possible right now.

Practical Ways I Used Scripture Each Day to Fight Suicidal Thoughts

In this part of my suicide survival testimony, I want to share what my days actually looked like when I was choosing life one moment at a time. It was not just big breakthroughs in counseling or powerful church services. It was small, repeated habits with Scripture and prayer that helped me stay when I wanted to leave.

These practices were simple, imperfect, and often weak. But over time, they created a path I could walk, even on the worst days.

Praying Honest Prayers: Telling God I Wanted to Die and Asking Him to Help Me Stay

For a long time, I tried to pray “good Christian prayers.” I used safe words, stayed vague about my pain, and tried to sound strong. The problem was that my real thoughts were not polite at all. I wanted to die, and I did not know how to keep pretending with God.

What changed me was seeing how the psalmists prayed. David and others cried out with raw words like, “How long, Lord?” and “Why have you forgotten me?” They did not filter their pain. That gave me permission to stop pretending.

I started praying honest, short prayers, sometimes out loud, sometimes only in my mind:

• “God, I want to die, but I choose to give You this feeling.”

• “Lord, I do not trust my thoughts right now. Please hold me.”

• “Help me make it through this night.”

• “Jesus, I do not see hope, but You say You are my hope. Stay with me.”

At first, it felt wrong to say “I want to die” in prayer. But hiding it did not make it go away. Bringing it into the light with God was the first step in loosening its grip.

If you feel spiritually worn out and do not know how to pray anymore, resources like this guide on how to pray when you are spiritually exhausted can give simple steps for starting again with honest words.

Here is what helped me when I prayed that way:

• I stopped performing and started relating. God already knew my thoughts. Saying them to Him brought me closer instead of pushing me away.

• I trusted His character more than my fear. I believed He could handle my raw words without turning His back.

• I used Psalms as a script when I was empty. Passages like Psalm 13 and Psalm 42 became prayers I could read when my own words failed.

If David could say, “My soul is in deep anguish” and still be called a man after God’s heart, then your honesty will not scare God away. He can handle your unpolished, broken, and even angry prayers.

Speaking Scripture Out Loud When Dark Thoughts Got Loud

One of the hardest parts of my battle was the noise inside my head. Suicidal thoughts did not whisper. They shouted. They told me I was worthless, hopeless, and beyond help.

I began to learn that I could answer those lies with Scripture, not just read it quietly, but speak it out loud like a response. It felt awkward at first, almost like talking back to myself. Over time, it became a way to interrupt the spiral.

I kept a short list of key verses on my phone and on a small card in my pocket. When the darkness rose, I would step into the hallway, the bathroom, or my car and read them out loud, slowly:

• “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18)

• “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5)

• “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7)

• “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)

In the beginning, it felt empty. My emotions did not shift right away. But with time, repeating these truths was like turning on a small light in a dark room. The darkness did not disappear in a second, but it slowly lost some of its power.

If you need more verses to start your own list, collections like these Bible verses about suicide and hope can help you find words that speak into your exact struggle.

A simple way to begin is to choose 3–5 verses that clearly say you are:

• Loved by God

• Known by God

• Held by God

Write them down and let them become your battle lines. When suicidal thoughts shout, you do not have to argue with them. You can answer them with Scripture, even if your voice shakes.

Writing Verses on Cards, Mirrors, and Notes as Daily Reminders of Hope

On my worst days, my mind felt foggy. I could not remember what I had read that morning or what the sermon was about on Sunday. I needed truth to meet me where my eyes landed during the day.

So I started to place Scripture in the places where I hurt the most:

• Bathroom mirror: I wrote verses like Psalm 139:14 on sticky notes, so when I looked at my reflection and felt disgust or shame, I also saw words that said I was “fearfully and wonderfully made.”

• Bedside table: Nights were often the hardest. I kept an index card by my bed with a short prayer and a verse, such as Psalm 4:8, so that when the dark thoughts rose, I had something within reach.

• Phone lock screen: I changed my lock screen to a simple verse image. Every time I checked the time or a notification, I saw a reminder that my life mattered to God.

• Work or study area: I taped a small card near my desk with one grounding verse to read when my thoughts started to spiral.

These small choices did not feel spiritual or impressive. But they meant that when I was too tired to search my Bible, God’s Word was already in front of me.

Over time, these “little anchors” helped my heart remember what my brain kept forgetting: God was near, my pain was seen, and my story was not over. In the wider story of my suicide survival testimony, these quiet reminders were part of how God pulled me back from the edge again and again.

You might start with just one place where you often feel most alone or tempted to give up. Put a verse there. Let Scripture interrupt the lies before they build momentum.

Letting Other Believers Read and Pray Scripture Over Me

One of the most powerful shifts in my journey happened when I stopped trying to carry everything alone. I realized that Scripture was not only something I read by myself. It was something the body of Christ could speak over me when I was too weak to speak it over myself.

I reached out to a trusted pastor and one close friend and told the truth: “I am not okay and I need prayer.” That sentence felt heavy, but it opened a door. They did not try to fix me with quick advice. They read Scripture over me and prayed it into my situation.

Sometimes they would pray verses like:

• Psalm 23, reminding me that the Lord was my Shepherd in the valley of the shadow of death.

• Isaiah 41:10, asking God to uphold me with His righteous right hand.

• Romans 8, speaking of nothing being able to separate me from the love of God.

Hearing those words from someone else’s voice did something my private reading could not. It reminded me that:

• I was part of a family, not an isolated case.

• God’s promises applied to me, even when I felt numb.

• My weakness was a place for the church to show love, not a reason to hide.

If you are afraid to reach out, remember that Scripture shows us a Savior who cried, “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me,” drawing from Psalm 22 in His own agony. If you want a deeper look at how His suffering meets ours, you may find comfort in this reflection on why have You forsaken Me and Psalm 22.

You do not have to phrase it perfectly. You can say something as simple as:

• “I am not safe alone with my thoughts. Can you pray with me?”

• “I am having suicidal thoughts and I need you to read Scripture over me.”

• “Please stay on the phone while you pray. I feel scared.”

God often uses the voices of His people to carry His Word into hearts that feel too weak to reach for it. Letting others pray Scripture over me did not erase the battle, but it kept me from fighting in silence.

If you need someone to begin that process with you and want faith-based support, you can also reach out for Christian counseling by contacting Pastor Richmond Kobe at info@faithfulpathcommunity.com. You are not alone, and your life still matters deeply to God.

Getting Help Without Shame: How God Used Counseling, Community, and Pastoral Care

Part of my suicide survival testimony is not only about Bible verses, but about people. God met me through pastors, counselors, and ordinary believers who refused to let me disappear. I had to learn that asking for help was not faithlessness or failure. It was obedience to a God who designed His body to carry one another.

Why Reaching Out Saved My Life When I Wanted to Stay Silent

When suicidal thoughts first flooded my mind, my instinct was to hide. I told myself things like, “You’ll just worry people,” and, “They will think you are crazy or ungrateful.” Shame wrapped around my throat like a tight rope.

The first time I opened up, it was not planned. A trusted believer simply asked, “How are you, really?” The word “fine” stuck in my mouth, and I started to cry instead. Between tears, I said the words I had never said out loud: “I think about ending my life, and I am scared of myself.”

I braced for shock, judgment, or a quick lecture about having more faith. I expected to hear, “You should not think like that as a Christian.” Instead, this person did three simple but powerful things:

• They stayed calm and did not flinch.

• They thanked me for trusting them.

• They said, “You are not crazy, and you are not alone. We are going to walk through this together.”

They helped me make a safety plan, connected me with a pastor, and checked on me in the days that followed. They did not minimize the danger, but they also did not treat me like a problem to fix. Their response was the first crack in the lie that “no one cares.”

If you carry the same fear of being judged, it may help to know that many believers carry quiet battles with mental health. The pressure to keep it hidden is part of why Breaking Mental Health Stigma in the Church matters so much. You are not the only one.

In my story, reaching out did not instantly erase suicidal thoughts, but it did something just as important. It brought my darkness into the light where others could help guard my life. That one confession led to:

• Honest conversations with a pastor.

• A referral to a Christian counselor.

• Practical support, like rides to appointments and late-night prayers.

If you are reading this and hiding similar thoughts, I urge you to tell at least one trusted, mature believer, pastor, or leader. You do not need a perfect speech. You can say something as simple as, “I am having suicidal thoughts, and I need help staying safe.”

The enemy often whispers, “No one cares, and no one will understand.” My suicide survival testimony stands as a witness that this is a lie. God often shows His care through one person who listens, stays, and helps you take the next step.

How Christian Counseling Helped Me Face Deep Pain in a Safe Place

After that first disclosure, my pastor gently encouraged me to start Christian counseling. I was nervous. Part of me thought, “If I really trusted God, I would not need a counselor.” Another part feared digging up old wounds that I had carefully buried.

Counseling turned out to be one of the clearest ways God applied His Word to my life.

In Christian counseling, we did several key things:

• Talked through past wounds.
  I shared stories I had never said out loud. Experiences of rejection, loss, and shame that fed my belief that my life did not matter. My counselor helped me name these hurts and see how they shaped my thoughts.

• Challenged destructive thinking.
  Together, we looked at thoughts like “I am a burden” or “Nothing will ever change” and compared them with Scripture. This felt very similar to what many describe as Faith-Based Anxiety Counseling, where biblical truth and practical tools work side by side.

• Prayed over trauma and shame.
  My counselor did not just give advice. We often ended sessions in prayer, asking the Holy Spirit to speak into the places where I felt dirty, broken, or beyond help. We invited Jesus into specific memories, not as a vague idea, but as a living Savior.

• Built safety and practical plans.
  We developed crisis plans for when suicidal thoughts surged. That included who I would call, what I would remove from my environment, and which Scriptures I would lean on when I felt most unsafe.

I learned that counseling did not replace Scripture. Instead, it helped me understand and apply Scripture in the exact places where my story was bleeding. Verses I had known for years began to land in deeper ways because someone helped me connect them to my trauma, fears, and patterns of thought.

If you feel torn between faith and counseling, you do not have to choose. God often uses skilled, faith-filled counselors as part of His care. For some, this might even include online or Online Christian Therapy Services when local options are limited.

If you sense you need that kind of support, you can reach out for Christian counseling by contacting Pastor Richmond Kobe at info@faithfulpathcommunity.com. Asking for structured, faith-centered help is not a sign that Scripture failed. It is a way to let Scripture reach every corner of your heart.

For more perspectives from believers who have walked this road, stories like I Have a Confession: I’m a Christian and I was Suicidal can also remind you that you are not alone and not a “bad Christian” for needing this level of care.

The Role of Church, Small Groups, and Safe Friends in My Healing

In my suicide survival testimony, counseling met me in the therapy room, but community met me in everyday life. Church and small groups became places where others carried me when I had no strength left.

At first, simply showing up felt like climbing a mountain. I would sit in the back, near the door, ready to leave if the weight in my chest grew too heavy. Over time, God used three kinds of community to help me heal.

1. Pastoral care.
   My pastor checked in, not as a distant authority, but as a shepherd. He listened without rushing, prayed with me, and helped me sort out what was biblical truth and what was toxic shame. When needed, he reminded me, “Your life is a gift to this church.”

2. Small groups.
   In a small group, people began to notice patterns. They could tell when I seemed quieter or more withdrawn. Some would send a simple text: “You were on my heart. How are you holding up?” Those small check-ins often came on nights when suicidal thoughts felt loudest.

3. Safe friends.
   God also gave me one or two friends I could text almost any time: “Pray for me. My thoughts are dark tonight.” Sometimes they responded with Scripture. Other times with short prayers, or, “Want me to call?” Their steady presence helped me believe I was not fighting alone.

Community did not fix everything overnight. Church did not become a place of constant emotional highs. Some Sundays I felt numb. Some group meetings I could barely speak. But I was no longer alone with my thoughts, and that changed everything.

Slow, consistent connection helped me:

• Remember I belonged to a family, not just to my pain.

• Hear truth spoken over me when my own faith felt thin.

• Practice being honest about mental health in a Christ-centered space.

If you have pulled away from church because of shame or exhaustion, consider small steps back toward community. That might look like:

• Attending one service and leaving right after.

• Joining a Bible study where you can simply listen at first.

• Texting a mature friend: “Can we meet for coffee? I am not okay.”

If your life has been hit by crisis in other ways too, resources like Rebuilding Your Life After a Major Disruption can also give you a faith-based framework for putting the pieces back together with others by your side.

God did not design you to face suicidal thoughts, grief, or trauma in isolation. He gives His people as a living witness that you matter, you are seen, and you are worth the effort it takes to stay. Community will not remove every dark thought, but it can keep those thoughts from having the last word.

Living With Hope Today: Encouragement for You From My Suicide Survival Testimony

This part of my suicide survival testimony is about today, not just about what happened in the past. Hope is not only a feeling, it is a set of choices you can make with God, even when your emotions are flat or your thoughts feel dark. You do not have to see the whole future to choose life with Him in this next moment.

If you are barely holding on, you are exactly the kind of person Jesus moves toward in Scripture. He meets you step by step, breath by breath. The following ideas are not theory for me, they are the simple actions God used to keep me alive when I wanted to die.

If You Are Suicidal Right Now: Simple Steps You Can Take Today

If you are suicidal in this moment, you do not need a long plan. You need a few clear steps you can actually take. You are not weak for needing this. You are in real danger, and your life matters.

Here are simple actions you can choose right now:

1. Tell someone right away.
   Do not stay alone with these thoughts. Tell a trusted person, even if the words feel heavy or messy. You can say, “I am having suicidal thoughts and I do not feel safe.” Reach out to a pastor, a mature Christian friend, a family member, or a counselor. If you can, stay on the phone or in person with them while you talk.

2. Remove access to harmful items if possible.
   If there is anything nearby that you could use to hurt yourself, create distance from it. Put it in another room, hand it to someone you trust, or leave the place where it is. This is not dramatic. It is an act of wisdom and courage that gives your brain and body time to calm down.

3. Search for and call a local suicide hotline or emergency number.
   Hotlines and local emergency numbers look different in every country, so I cannot list them here. But you can search “suicide hotline” with the name of your country or city and call the number you find. If the danger feels urgent, contact your local emergency services. Trained people are ready to listen and act to help you stay alive.

4. Read one short psalm out loud.
   When my mind was swirling, I needed simple words already written for me. Pick a short psalm such as Psalm 23, 27, 34, or 121. Read it out loud, slowly, even if you feel nothing. Let the words do the work. If you want more passages to choose from, you can look at this list of Bible verses about suicide and hope.

5. Write down one verse that speaks hope and keep it near you.
   As you read, listen for one line that feels like a tiny lifeline. It might be “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted” or “You are with me.” Write that one verse on paper or in your phone and keep it where you can see it. This is your “stay” verse for today.

6. Ask God for strength for the next hour, not the rest of your life.
   You do not have to figure out tomorrow. Pray something as simple as, “God, I want to die, but please give me strength to stay for the next hour.” Short, honest prayers like this were a key part of my suicide survival testimony. God heard every one. If you want help calming your thoughts as you pray, you may find it helpful to explore this guide on how to renew your mind with powerful Bible verses.

If you are in danger, act on these steps now, even if your feelings do not agree. Then, when things are a little calmer, you can think about longer-term support, like Christian counseling. For faith-based counseling help, you can contact Pastor Richmond Kobe at info@faithfulpathcommunity.com.

Choosing Life Daily With God’s Word, Even When Feelings Lag Behind

In my story, healing did not arrive in one dramatic moment. It looked more like learning to choose life with God one day at a time, even while my emotions dragged behind. Some days, my feelings said, “There is no point.” Scripture answered, “Your life still has purpose.” I had to decide which voice to follow.

Here are some truths that shaped that daily choice:

• Healing is often slow, but every day of life is a real win.
  There were weeks when “progress” meant only that I had not acted on my darkest thoughts. That still counted. Your survival today is not small. It is a quiet, powerful act of faith.

• God is patient with your pace.
  I feared He was tired of my ups and downs. The Bible showed me a God who is “compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love.” He does not rush you through grief or shame. He walks beside you at the speed you can bear.

• Your feelings can lag behind truth and still be real.
  I often felt numb while reading promises of joy. That tension did not mean the promises were false. It meant my heart was wounded and slow to respond. Over time, steady exposure to His Word gently shifted my inner story, even when change was hard to see.

To live this out, I started to build a small set of “lifeline” verses. These were Scriptures that spoke directly to my shame, fear, and despair. They became anchors I reached for when my thoughts began to sink.

You might build a list like:

• Verses that say God is with you in trouble.

• Verses that say your life is chosen, known, and loved.

• Verses that say your weakness is a place for His strength, not His rejection.

Write them where you can see them. Put one on your mirror, one by your bed, one in your bag, and one on your phone. Let them interrupt your old stories. If you want more help thinking about how Scripture slowly reshapes the way you think, you might appreciate this biblical guide to finding joy in hard times.

As I kept returning to God’s Word, my mind, over months and years, started to change. The old lies did not vanish overnight, but they lost power. My suicide survival testimony is not the story of one instant rescue. It is the story of a faithful God who met me every morning with new mercy and kept teaching me how to choose life again, even when my feelings were late to catch up.

You can walk this same slow road with Him. Keep breathing. Keep opening your Bible, even if you read only one verse. Keep talking to safe people and to the God who already knows your thoughts. He started a good work in you, and He will not abandon it halfway.

Conclusion

This suicide survival testimony is simple at its core: God met me in my deepest pain through Scripture, community, and wise counsel, and He can meet you too. The lies in my mind once felt louder than truth, yet the steady voice of God’s Word, the prayers of others, and patient Christian counseling kept pulling me back from the edge. I wanted to die, but God used His Word to help me choose life.

Your life has real value, even if your feelings say the opposite right now. You are not an accident, not a burden, and not beyond God’s reach. The same God who sat with me in the dark sits with you today, whether you feel Him or not. If you’d like more encouragement from someone who has walked a similar path, you might appreciate this Christian mental health story of hope.

Take one small step today. Pray a simple, honest prayer. Open your Bible and read a short psalm out loud. Send a message to a trusted friend or pastor. If you need Christian counseling support, you can contact Pastor Richmond Kobe at info@faithfulpathcommunity.com. You do not have to walk this road alone.

My prayer for you:

“Father, You see this precious reader and every hidden thought. Surround them with Your presence, silence the voice of death, and speak hope into their mind and heart. Use Your Word, Your people, and Your Spirit to guard their life. Give them strength for this day, and remind them that their story is not over in Christ. In Jesus’ name, amen.”